Let’s get to the good part: the food.
Here is my Thanksgiving Menu:
Appetizers:
Spinach Dip and Pumpernickel Bread
Cream Cheese and Pecan Stuffed Celery
Cream Cheese Dill Dip and Crackers
Pecan Tassies
Pumpkin Bread
Main Meal:
Apple/Rosemary Brined Roasted Turkey
Homemade Bread Dressing
Allyson’s Holiday Mashed Potatoes
Turkey Gravy
The Sweet Potato Stuff
Green Bean Cassarole
Rolls
Cranberry Sauce
Watergate Salad
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My best event.
Dessert:
Pecan Pie
Apple Pie
Praline Pumpkin Cheesecake
Now, since I have delegated some of these things to my mother-in-law and my sister-in-law (who are amazing cooks), my workload isn’t nearly as bad as this list indicates. I will do the shopping today, and start cooking Wednesday.
Here is my Thanksgiving Cooking Shed-jule:
Monday:
Shopping: buy everything but the celery. Do not, I repeat, do NOT buy the celery yet. I try to organize the list by the layout of the store, keeping the frozen and refrigerated items until the end. Once I’ve gotten the milk, it’s time to go.
Clean the house and clean out the fridge: you’re gonna need every inch of space. (Delegate: those kids need to build character.)
Tuesday:
Double Check: Read through every recipe, and check the pantry. Go back to the store for the stuff you forgot. Don’t get the celery yet. Yes, I’m serious.
Get Supplies Ready: Find the turkey roaster that has mysteriously disappeared since you put where you’d not lose it last year, and the rack that goes with it, or head out to Bed, Bath and Beyond and get another one. Scrub that bad boy no matter what it looks like. If you use special Christmas dishes, or if you break out the purty China, now’s the time to get it out, wash it and set it aside. Also, the table linens need to be laundered, pressed and ready.
Lay out the bread for the dressing: Using every available clean surface, lay each slice of bread out on cookie sheets and allow it to completely dry out. I use one loaf of whole grain white (occasionally 1 1/2 or 2), and one loaf of 15-grain whole grain bread, plus whatever random lonely hot dog and hamburger buns happen to be in the pantry. They will need all day, overnight, and all day Wednesday to dry out thoroughly. Flip them over before you go to bed Tuesday night.
Wednesday:
Go to the grocery: Take out a bunch of cream cheese to soften, then get your keys. You know you’re going to have to go every day this week; you might as well be able to say you planned on it. Buy two of the greenest, most fragrant bunches of celery you can find. Celery makes or breaks the dressing, and the dressing makes or breaks the meal. We can’t abide any wimpy pastel celery. The smell of it should be an assault Also buy some of those cute red and green M&Ms and a bag of Dove chocolates. Share the M&Ms with the good boys and girls that helped you get the house and the fridge clean. Guard the Dove chocolates like they’re the nuclear football; share neither them nor their location with anyone.
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Really, it’s all about the pies, people.
Prepare the following: Watergate Salad (this is that weird marshmallow stuff I was referring to…there are a thousand recipes for it floating all over the web. I actually love to add some of the affore mentioned delicious and pungent celery, but that is what is considered A Breech of Tradition in these parts, so I delegate the Watergate. It’s mint green. It’s weird. It’s a tradition. It’s yummy. Just go with it.) Also prepare the Spinach Dip, Pecan Tassies, Pumpkin Bread, and Pumpkin Praline Cheesecake (except for the praline topping).
Take a Break: Once those things are done, refrigerate the salad, the cheesecake, and the dip, make some coffee or pour the adult beverage of your choice, test one of the Tassies, break out the Doves, and get off your feet for a minute. You’ve earned it, and the real work’s about to begin: it’s time to start the dressing, and brine the bird:
Birdy Prep-Part 1: Pull out the bird from the fridge and place it in the sink. Rinse and remove any leftover bits of ice. Remove the neck and giblets. Boil them in chicken broth in a medium-sized saucepan for about 45 minutes. *Don’t pour out the broth-you need it.* Dice the heart, liver and gizzard into quarter inch pieces, and remove every bit of meat from the neck. This takes roughly a hundred years, but through the Magic of Thanksgiving, you’ll somehow finish it.
(At this point, the people you live with might start whining about dinner…order pizza.)
Make the Dressing: Turn on the broiler and begin toasting the dried bread. You want the toasted bread to be a caramel brown color, but it’s okay if some pieces are darker or a bit lighter. Put this mountain of bread in the biggest bowl you can find, and add in one gigantic diced vidalia onion, one chopped bell pepper, at least three stalks of that beautiful celery, the diced giblets, the neck meat, and some browned Italian sausage if’n you’re feelin’ sassy. Season with one heaping tablespoon of sage, salt and pepper. Then, pour the broth you boiled the giblets in over the whole thing. You will probably need to add a bit more chicken broth (usually one can), but be careful-you don’t want the mixture dry, but you sure as heck don’t want it sticky. You can’t fix sticky. Add one stick of butter, sliced, and mix it with your hands. Put the dressing into one of the crock-pots, and the excess in another bowl, and refrigerate overnight.
Birdie Prep Part 2-Brine the Bird: Since it’s probably dark-thirty at this point, first, reward yourself with some Ben & Jerry’s New York Superfudge Chunk and a couple of those white-chocolate covered Oreos you snuck into the cart today with the Dove chocolates. (It’ll be our secret.) Get out the cooler and the ingredients for the brine recipe of your choice. (There are some really yummy options around. I stick with one I found a few years ago, mainly because it calls for apple juice, Worchestershire, brown sugar, garlic, and rosemary, and I can whack off a few limbs of the rosemary bush that’s growing at my sister-in-law’s. Y’know…tradition…) Place the bird in the cooler, cover him with ice, and water (use water filtered by Reverse Osmosis if at all possible-it’s usually labelled “purified water” in the store) the brine ingredients, close the cooler, and
Go to bed: you’ve gotta big day tomorrow…
Thanksgiving Day’s Shed-jule will be up next. Happy cooking!
(p.s. Recipes for all menu items available upon request. Make thy wishes known in the comments.)